I’m feelin’ good

Good Morning!

I hope you had a beautiful weekend!

((P.S: Fun news to share this week!! Stay tuned!))

I got a run in on Saturday and Sunday! My first run in what feels like FOREVER. I was curious to see what a week of aquajogging and body-weight only strength exercises would do for me.

the verdict?

I felt pretty darn good! I ran outside on the snow-covered trails… it was silent, peaceful, and beautiful. My Nike GPS watch broke a few months ago, so I sent it back to the company and viola! They sent me a brand new one! So I tried it out on the run Saturday…worked great! I did 7.5 miles, and once I got a feel for how to run in the snow/ice, I was able to keep a pretty decent pace! It was only 13 deg when I started but luckily with no wind chill, it wasn’t that bad. (OK ya, it was freezing… but if you expect sub-arctic temps and only get arctic temps, it is like…”warm”).

You know when it is super cold and your eyes water the whole run? Well, my watery-eyes froze. Literally I had an icicle hanging off of my top eyelid (and a baby one on the bottom!) the entire run! I quickly snapped a pic at the end (obvi).

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Like how artsy I was trying to be with the black and white? ((key word tried))…20131208-184535.jpg

My backyard πŸ™‚ Make me happy to be home!20131208-184547.jpg

I headed to one of my favorite places in the world– Purdue University (my undergrad)– Saturday for the basketball game! It was so fun and I jump at any opportunity to go back!

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We of course stopped by The Den…20131208-184559.jpg

Sunday I did 5 miles on the 800meter indoor track at my high school (the wind chill yesterday was ridiculous). It didn’t feel as good as Saturday’s run did… but I was happy to be out there!

Yesterday evening then I did 25 mins of a workout similar to my Wednesday leg-killer.

I had a great realization yesterday. I normally don’t think this and it is probably the #1 thing I struggle with in terms of my eating disorder. Body image. I never feel like I “look good” and I am constantly thinking that I should look better for the amount of exercise I do. I get crazy jealous when I see others who are stronger/fitter/skinnier/leaner than me. It is an exhausting way to live, let me tell you.

But last night… I was sweating in my sports bra and shorts after the little workout in my living room… and I thought, “Hey. Andrea. Look at you. You are lookin pretty good. No, seriously. Look. Your spine and shoulder blades are not protruding. You don’t look like the wind will blow you over. Your thighs touch and are nice and strong. You face is filled out and and no longer sunken in. You have the beginnings of a butt forming. BE HAPPY. YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD.”

This was a huge huge step for me! Now, as my doctors tell me…and I have experienced… the bad days are mixed in with the good days still… So I am not expecting to feel like this at all times. Heck, I may not even feel like this by tonight even. But the fact that I really did have these thoughts and feeling… well… I am thrilled and proud of myself.

On that note, I hope you ALL can look in the mirror today and see happiness, strength, beauty, wisdom, power, confidence, etc. Because it is there. Trust me. If I can find it, so can you πŸ™‚

❀

3 Things you did this weekend?

Coldest run you have ever been on? Was it miserable but fun!?!

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27 comments

  1. Andrea, I think you look amazing, but how you look or feel on the outside doesn’t always show the joy that wells up from your heart (not that we shouldn’t aspire to be healthy instruments ready to do any good work for Christ, but that He still loves us no matter what). Stay strong!

    Know though…that even though I write that, I have been really struggling to believe it. I have been battling with those recurring thoughts in regards to my body (and I am much larger than you are!). It makes me feel so frustrated when I feel very overweight and fat at Cross Country practice (especially when people are passing me) or even when I am just hanging out. I know that God has a plan for this too though…as much as I wish he could teach me new things while I have a much thinner/leaner/muscular/fast body…I know He still has a plan for me.

    1. Thank you for your words and your thoughts… they are so appreciative. I love your honesty and what you share. You have such a beautiful heart…You are right– God loves ME. He loves my SOUL. He has a plan for my life that doesn’t have a thing to do with what I “look” like in MY eyes. I know that God has a plan for you too… and already He is using you to speak to me! I mean how freaking cool is that?!? πŸ™‚ Have a great night girl! THANK YOU!

  2. Thank you for the encouragement you provide. : ) I am amazed by your transparency about your story.

  3. pickyrunner · · Reply

    I am so incredibly proud of your for that realization! I definitely have my moments where I look in the mirror and go “man you’re looking good today.” It’s not everyday, but it’s getting there. To even have them once in awhile is AWESOME! Also I am obsessed with the picture of you and the teardrop. So artsy πŸ˜‰

    1. Thank you girl!!! So glad you have those awesome “I am dead sexy” mirror days too πŸ˜‰ Because lets face it… we are!! I dont want to put expectations on myself and I know that i will still have bad days.. but i at least know now what that feels like to be happy and feel beautiful just as I am. haha glad you liked my “artsy-ness”!! definitely NOT my strong suit!

  4. I guess you could call me odd, but I love running in the cold. I have never ran in snow though. But I have two times I ran in 30 degree whether. One time during high school. It was 30 or 40 degrees out, I couldn’t tell what temp because it was beyond windy and it was pouring down rain. But I loved every second of it. Then last year I ran a Turkey Trot near me, and It was pouring down ran the whole time, I couldn’t see because I had so much water on my face. But I loved everything about that run. I always have ran better when it was cold and rainy. Love the teardrop on you eyelash! That’s so cool! Just curious, how did you get it off?? I feel like if you pull it off, it would hurt and rip some eyelashes off.

    And Yay!!! Congrats :D. Isn’t it the best feeling when you have thoughts like that?? It’s a start and you’re only going to go up from here. This means that there is more to come. Girl you are only getting stronger! This by far with be the hardest battle for you, but once you conquer it, you won’t have to worry about it getting so bad anymore.

    1. I kinda love cold weather too! It is a nice switch up after the hot summer! haha once I stopped running and got in my car the icicle melted pretty fast! I did not pull it off! ouch!! I HOPE there is more to come! it was a good, relaxing feeling! You are right– it is the hardest battle I have done thus far… but it is making me mentally stronger to handle anything ahead in life! I don’ twant to get too ahead of myself… I know there will STILL be bad days. ((i dont want to put too much expectation on myself!!)) but yes, exciting and it is definitely progress!

      1. It really is!! Oh thank gawd! Ah yay!! I’m so happy for you πŸ™‚

  5. Yay! Congrats on the happy thoughts! I hope many more are in your future! I can’t imagine it being so cold outside that my watery eyes formed icicles! I seriously commend everyone who runs outside in the snow..The low’s have been in the 30s to 40s here for Arizona, which to me is pretty bad! However, I am super jealous of how pretty the snow looks. πŸ™‚

    1. haha Ya in the midwest you HAVE to get used to this weather if you want to run in the winter! Gotta do what you gotta do!! With that said… I would LOVE to be in AZ running year around!!!

  6. Your eyelash icicle is cracking me up! That would have driven me crazy during a run though – can’t believe you didn’t yank it off!

    1. It didn’t drive me crazy really because I was looking down the whole time watching for ice… but the moment I would look up I would notice my eyelid was “heavy” and my sight blurry haha…it was ridiculous! ((but I HAD to keep it on there for a picture… πŸ˜‰ ))

  7. YAY!!! love to hear your positive words to yourself!

    1. Thank you so so much!!! Your ecouragement is wonderful! Have a great evening!

  8. I LOVE those positive words you were saying to yourself! So awesome πŸ™‚ I cannot wait to hear how you continue to progress !

    1. Thanks so much hun!! While I will still have “bad” days, I know that just having a day of this kind of thinking is huge strides! Thanks for being excited for me!!

  9. That’s crazy about the eylashcicle! I remember those days growing up in Ohio.
    Have fun while you’re at home! Keep up the positivity!
    This weekend we were iced in, so I had to run 32 miles (in 3 days) on the dreadmill. It was so boring!

    1. Thanks so much!! WOW– props to you sir!! 32 miles on the dreadmill…. I love how you “do whatcha gotta do!” great dedication πŸ™‚

  10. Nice EYEcicle. GET IT??? (sorry, I had to! but that is seriously cool!)

    And even nicer “good thoughts” about yourself. I think the trick is always redefining what “good looking” means. It should mean, “healthy, alive, vibrant, happy.” I’m happy along with you that the realization is creeping in! Sometimes those changes in our thinking take a while, but they do stick.

    1. hahah I laughed out loud at work when I read this! Love cheesy jokes like that πŸ™‚ You are absolutely right. I am working on redefining what “lookin good” means. Its hard to do after years of thinking one way and seeing what we think it means everyday around us… but I guess I am making strides πŸ™‚ I hope it starts to “stick” and stay with me more and more, until one day it is what I KNOW to be true.

  11. Yay for the booty. It’s so much better than being skin and bones-like. Congrats on feeling good about yourself-I love those days πŸ™‚

    1. Whoohoo!!! You are so right– booty/thighs/BOOBS/even tummy… better than the sickly looking thing I was πŸ™‚ I hope you have a great evening!

  12. AAAAH what a great post! First of all, I am jealous of that wintery run! I’m adding snowy runs to my bucket list.

    Okay, and more importantly, your joy in seeing your body become strong is so moving. It’s such a great feeling to finally look at what you used to see as negative “bulk” and see if for what it is…strength! Strong runners are so gorgeous to me. I can’t wait to someday have a real butt and runner’s thighs! Who knew being a runner would make me want to add mass to my body??

    1. Snowy runs are great and they make warm coffee/FOOD taste even better when you come back in!! Thank you so so much πŸ™‚ haha I love what you said… being a runner make you want to be stronger/powerful, and if that means body mass, then so be it! What a GREAT attitude and outlook!! Thanks for sharing that πŸ™‚

  13. You are beautiful. Inside and out.

    1. As are you ❀

  14. […] out I’m Feelin’ Good (Part 1) […]

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