I had a great weekend with my best friends! (Read about it HERE!) They are living the life in Chicago in an AWESOME apartment and have GREAT jobs and are just positively blossoming!!
Here are a few more pictures from the weekend:
While I am please with the (mostly) food/fitness-anxiety-free weekend I was able to have, this past week has had other ups and downs that have bothered and discouraged me:
1. My runs have really been tough. I try not looking at my watch, but even without my GPS I know approximately the pace and distances on my routes and can get a pretty good approximate. I feel heavy and tired. My legs just wont turn over. My stride feels funny.
I have mentioned that I want to start running and training slower. Because of this I wanted to run the Big Ten 10k slower and to help encourage my friend along (which I did and it was awesome!) However, I was actually very disappointed with how heavy and hard the run was for my legs (despite the much much slower pace than I normally run). I just kept thinking… “This should not be hard! Why is this feeling so hard for my legs???”
I would love to say it didn’t bother me.. but it most certainly sat in the back of my mind for hours after the race.
2. I am worried how these “bad runs” will effect my Triathlon this coming weekend. I want to do well (obviously). I feel like a few weeks ago… or a few months ago even when I was running lots of half’s and hitting some decent times, I was in better shape. And now, on my quest for “healthy-ness” I feel more out of shape than ever.
3. I have REALLY wanted to check out my body in the mirror. The urge has been overwhelming a few times. But I gave up the scale and mirror last week. I have been eating lots this week (especially this weekend) and I had an absolutely BING FEST last night for dinner. I was pulling my hair out trying not to stare at my body in the mirror, turn sideways, and check out the “damage” done.
My mind was going crazy and I felt like such a failure for the meal. I had a great great salmon casserole that my dad made… then when he and my mom left to go to the Chris Isaak concert, I just went to town. I finished the Costco Organic Tortilla chips, had a bowl of ice cream, 2 apples, 4+ tablespoons of Trader Joe’s Cookie Butter, and some more salmon casserole.
I know that setback’s happen and will continue to happen. This was never going to be an easy journey. Breaking habits and mental barriers that I have so carefully constructed over the years will take more than a few months of acceptance/therapy/help.
I just need to Keep On Keepin’ On and focus on God and the Good things in life.
Why do YOU guys think my runs have been so hard lately??
Have you been to Chicago? What is your favorite City?