I was home by myself from Friday to Sunday. My parents and sister were out of town for a wedding…. I was not invited!!! Bummer, because I am a good time at weddings 🙂
How cute is my family though?!?
Now obviously this is no big deal for a 23 year old to stay by herself. And normally, it isn’t. But things are different now. In the past, I was still under the spell of my disordered eating, absolutely positive that I was doing everything good and right for my body. I would load up on veggies and fruits only… workout out endlessly… and be upset for myself if (when) I would inevitably binge on a bag of pretzels or pistachios.
But now…. now I am fighting back. I am battling the negative voice in my head that tells me to freakout if I have a carb or immediately go for a run if I just had a meal. I am saying no to that voice.
This weekend by myself was the first time I have been without my parents support and/or at camp where everything was per-determined for me.
I was in charge of my own meals without a a soul looking over my shoulder, making sure it was balanced, keeping me accountable to eat at a normal hour… I fell trap to all of these things last year while living by myself at school. I knew I would have to face all of these issues again come fall when I go back. Well, this weekend acted as a “practice-round” of sorts. I would say I passed with a C+.
I was in an awful awful horrible mood and was mean to everyone around me. I don’t want to go into any more depth than that, mainly because it scares me because I don’t know what was going on… I immediately felt better after a 8.75 mile run.
Decent breakfast, good weight lifting session.
Poor Lunch (i.e nonexistent)
Good-ish afternoon run (proud of myself for eating a kids clif bar after the run.. which I usually never fuel myself after workouts)
Poor Dinner (5pm, so hungry by 9 but refused to eat that “late”)
Poor nights sleep (probably due to be hungry)
Up and breakfast at 4am (bc hungry from last nights poor dinner)
MADE THESE!!!! YUMMY!! Chocolate Dipped Peanut Butter Pretzel Sandwiches from Sally’s Baking Addiction
Great weight lifting at 12pm
Poor lunch (only protein shake after workout, fruit, veggies. Not substantial)
Great get together with friends at an engagement celebration!!
GREAT dinner (family home! Whole wheat pasta, lean ground turkey meat sauce, cauliflower, and dessert of vanilla yogurt with banana/berries)
I definitely could have done worse, and only a few months ago I would have done worse! So that is a very positive thing! However, there is improvement to be had in those meals by myself. I need to make sure I take the time to COOK a normal, balanced meal. I also need to make sure that if I do eat early (like on Saturday night) I eat a snack before bed if I need it! Don’t be afraid of that!!
All in all… I would say I definitely Passed though! Yay!
Have a good week everyone 🙂
Do you guys find you eat “better” or “healthier” by yourself or with other people?