My 3 Member Health Team

Did I mention my sister (aka Best Friend) is in town for a week from NYC?? Bahhh so pumped!!

wpid-2012-11-22_17-23-30_730.jpg

An older pic from Christmas (she is on left, me on right!)

I officially have “them all”.

In the last 3 weeks, I have now become the patient of a Nutritionist, a Therapist, and a Specialized Doctor. My first thought was, “Oh my gosh this is so expensive!!” My parents of course yelled at me for saying that and promised me there was no better way to spend their money than on getting me help.

Doctor Numero 3

I saw my 3rd and final “teammate”, a Dr. Blythe, yesterday morning.  Dr. B specializes in adolescents and young adults with Ed and other food-exercise specific health problems. She was WONDERFUL. I felt so comfortable talking with her and she gave me so much of her time to talk and discuss.

I really like speaking to Dr. B with her incredibly strong and in-depth medical background (duh she is a Doctor of Medicine Andrea).  But what I mean, is I love being able to ask the “hard questions” about what exactly my body is going through, how it is/is not reacting to nutrients, food, exercise, etc. I like the Facts.

All 3 of my doctors have made the comment that I am “very much an achiever. You like challenges and you love completing challenges successfully. You are competitive in both athletics, school, and life, and you demand more from yourself than anyone ever would.” Yep. That sounds about right!

Because of this, they said the best way to “appeal” to me with the concept of weight gain to get healthy, I need the education side of it. I need the facts. I need the evidence. I think they are completely right. I want to know that what I am doing (about to do) is going to help and work.

A Rough Rest of the Day

I did no exercise yesterday.

The last thing Dr. B and I decided on was that I was going to take 1 rest day per week where I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. But…. Yoga and abs and push ups though are okay, right Dr. B? NO.

So I laid by the pool, sat in a lab office for 1.5 hrs to get more blood work done (I live there these days), rode in the car lots, made dinner with my sister (who by the way is visiting from NYC!!), then sat and watched Harry Potter on ABC Family (oh my gosh my favorite!). So lots of sitting and nothingness.

I hated it. Not working out at all…and eating… and being stationary…and eating more… and still being stationary… it was not fun.

I could feel a mental breakdown developing. I shared some things with my mom and sister that took them off guard regarding my Ed and how deep the mental struggle was. I could tell it scared them a bit. I was extremely secluded all day. Very alone in my thoughts… over thinking on everything.

Accepting the Challenge (again)

My dad pulled me out of yesterday’s mental struggle. Good old dad. I don’t know how he does it or by what magic touch (actually I believe Jesus blesses my dad with words and understanding for me) he reaches out to me, but I always leave a conversation feeling better, empowered, and ready to attack.

He put things in perspective. When I told him I was so worried about how this weight gain will look to other people, he told me I would look nothing but Beautiful and Healthy. He reminded me that everything I do in life, I always do to 110%. That is just me. If I commit to something, I throw my whole self into and don’t stop until I reach my goal. It has served me well in many areas, become a problem in others. But my dad said to treat this like the same. I have been presented with a challenge. A training challenge that my Coach has given me to get stronger, more powerful, faster ((i.e. HEALTHIER)). I must take this on and prove I can do it. I must trust my “team” of coaches that they have done this before and know what they are doing.

So I am recommitting myself to this challenge. I can do this!!

Food is Fuel and my body will LOVE to have it and I will be a Beautiful, Happy, Healthy women by the end of this!!

Challenge Accepted!

Have a Fantastic Friday everyone and a Great Weekend!! Stay safe and happy 🙂

What are you weekend plans?

Advice on how I can learn to NOT care what others will think about my “new body”?

 

Advertisements

21 comments

  1. How to not care about what others will think of your healthy body is going to take some time. First, is ti redefine your definition of “healthy” and remind yourself of it daily. It sounds like your dad is a great support and has a great definition of what “healthy” is. Remember that ED wants us to believe that “healthy” is “fat” and “bad”. SO FALSE!
    So glad you reached out and talked to your family about your ED thoughts yesterday, keeping them in our heads only make them louder!

    1. That is a great way to put it–Ed totally wants me to think that only skinny people are healthy. But you are right… that is not true at all!! Healthy looks different for everyone. And for me, healthy is bigger than what I am now. And that is just how it is. I need to accept that and move on!
      And you are also right in me worrying so much that other people are going to notice ever 1 pound i gain. They won’t!
      Thanks for the advice and strength!

  2. Your body is going to be so much stronger and healthier (both inside and out!) when you give it the rest and nutrients it needs! I used to miss the comments people would make about my skinniness (<—-not healthy!), but I absolutely love the comments I now get about my strong legs and muscles! As far as feeling comfortable with taking a rest day–I used to struggle with that as well, but now I just keep myself occupied on that day and enjoy it! I know my running will be so much better the next day if my body is well-rested.It will take time, but I am confident that you will reach this place, too!

    1. That is what I want!! I want to be complimented on strength and athleticism… not on “oh my goodness you are so thin” thin is NOT strong. thin is NOT powerful. it is wispy.. and I don’t want to be wispy!!
      And I definitely need to work on planning rest days in advance with LOTS to do. because I was going crazy yesterday and it really messed with my mind!!
      Thank you so so much for your kind words and for sharing your own experience! It helps so so much!

  3. pickyrunner · · Reply

    I’m incredible proud of you for taking this head on. It isn’t easy but having a team of coaches is awesome. I don’t known it makes you feel worthy and special or something. So many people working to get you better. Nobody said it would be easy but it WILL be worth it. I think my ED pretty much mirrored yours so anytime you have questions or need anything, do not hesitate to ask!

    1. Thanks Sarah… you are right– it WILL be worth it. I have to keep thinking long term here.

      Thanks for answering the questions I posed to you on your blog the other day– they really helped and I appreciate your honesty! It is so encouraging to look at how far you have come and know that I have that to look forward to as well!
      Keep it up and I hope you have a great weekend girl!

  4. Runner Girl Eats · · Reply

    I think with time you will learn to accept your body and realize that what other people think really doesn’t matter. People in general are busy paying attention to their own insecurities that they rarely notice what we spend so much time obsessing over about ourselves. It seems like you have a great team of family members and professionals!

    1. I think you are exactly right. I THINK everyone is staring, judging, looking at my “weight”… but i am mostly paranoid. It is actually ‘vain’ of me to think strangers or acquiescence care to notice every tiny bit of weight gain I have.
      That is a great wake up call… thanks!!
      Yes, my family and professionals are incredible and are very “on the ball” in terms of getting a handle on this with me!!

  5. I want to tell you first how PROUD you should be of yourself for how strong you’re being through this. And as far as thinking about what others will think of your new body? Don’t worry about it. Healthy and happy are BEAUTIFUL.At the end of the day, the only person who should think you’re beautiful is YOU, and as hard as it may seem to believe, you’re more than a “body.” God gave you a soul, a heart, and a brain. You’re a beautiful girl, and just from reading your blog, it is apparent to all that you are beautiful from within as well. REAL beauty shines from within after all, and there’s nothing more beautiful than inner beauty.

    Stay strong! You’ve got this!

    -H (iamlyons.com)

    1. You are so kind and such a great reminder for me!! First of all, I should only EVER care about what God thinks of me (and He loves me all day every day!) and the 2nd most important opinion comes from ME!!
      And you are right… I don’t want people to think of my name and think of skinny or even running. I want them to think kind, nice, funny, encouraging, fun, outgoing, etc.Those mean so so much more to me than food and fitness characteristics!

      Your comment is so so kind and i cannot tel you how much appreciate these words! I am not kidding…this has really really helped me and turned on a light in my head!! This really clicked with me! Thank you for this much needed reminder! It is funny how little comments/encouraging words can literally alter a persons entire perspective!

  6. Good for you for reaching out to your family and getting help. You are so lucky to have such a great relationship with your dad. I’m so happy that you have been blessed with such an understanding father to help you through this tough time!

    I think it takes a lot to not care about what other people think, but I think, with time and a great support team, you will realize that you are healthy and beautiful and that it doesn’t matter what others think! Once you love yourself, others cannot help but love you.

    1. He is the greatest!! thanks so so much!!
      Yes, I need to love myself, first and formost! Only God’s opinion and My opinion matter! No one elses!! Love myself will help everything else fall into place I think…it all starts there! Thanks for the reminder and support!
      Have a good night dear!

  7. I’m so glad I found your blog! I struggled with this all through middle school and high school, so I definitely relate!

    Keep reminding yourself that you want to excel at ALL of life. I finally turned the corner and accepted treatment and help from professionals (after about 8 months of actually going to therapy twice a week… talk about a waste of money! I didn’t want to get help at ALL!) when I realized the path I was on was going to lead to osteoporosis- I’d fail at running and soccer because my bones would break. I had already lost my period for a year, and I realized I would never have kids if I didn’t turn it around. I thought that would make me a failure as a future-wife, as a “grown-up.” I also started to feel like a failure as a daughter for not wanting help.

    Anyway- it’s all about perspective and learning to turn the aspects of your personality in your favor, instead of letting them drive your disorder. It’s not easy, but you sound like you’re doing so well at trying! Much better than a lot of people I know 🙂

    1. Hi thank you so much for your kind words!! Thank you so much for sharing a bit about your history with food/fitness… and I can totally relate on the “long-term” thinking thing! I would say that is what has been most impactful. I keep thinking, “how unfair is this to my future husband when we are trying to have kids and I can’t get pregnant?” Make me think how selfish I am being!
      And a few days ago, my therapist really scared me when she talked about how ALL my organs are working harder to accomodate for the lack of nutrition, so when I push my self super hard on a run or weight room, she said I am actually increasing my risk of cardiac arrest!!! Oh my gosh!!!!! And I have been diagnosed with osteopenia ((precursor to osteoporosis)) and that has me scared as well for stress fractures, etc.
      So yes, you are right on thinking about perspective– How important is how I look right now, compared to my LIFE and my FUTURE LIFE of healthy, happiness, and overal enjoyment??

      Wow thank you for pointing this out right now! I feel like I just had a million light bulbs turn on in my head all at once!! THANK YOUU! this has been extremely important/helpful advice and I am going to bed tonight with a verrrry different perspective and though on this whole thing! Thank you so so much! Have a great night!

  8. Amanda · · Reply

    Good for you. That’s wonderful. Your doctor schedule actually sounds a lot like mine did initially. As for what others are thinking about you gaining weight….realize that you are thinking about much more than anyone else is or ever will. Also, you will feel so much better. It’s astounding how much more effective you are able to be in every aspect of your life (not just the training realm) when you actually allow your body to have nutrients. This is actually the main factor that has prevented me from relapsing (AGAIN). Well, that and the fact that I don’t want to continue with this obsession as I continue to age. You are being much more honest with yourself that I ever was. I think you are going to do happier, healthier, stronger and more beautiful with each passing day and you will realize that your ED was preventing you from becoming more amazing than you already are.

    1. You are absolutely right– Just because food/weight gain is all I think about, does not mean other people are even going to notice the pounds as I put them on!! It is not happening over night!

      And this whole struggle goes so far past just food and weight as you mentioned– this is about my HAPPINESS and comfort and energy that I will now have throughout my day– something that is so so worth it!

      I want to stop thinking about this once and for all… and your faith that I will conquer this is so so encouraging and honestly gives me the strength to keep at it. Thank you for opening up about your own Ed….you have such a beautiful personality and are full of such kind words for me! Thank you for everything! Have a great night!

  9. […] the house… I decided what I was missing was a huge dose of endorphins. Since Thursday was a complete rest day (Dr. B wants me to take a full rest day now) I knew that I had been missing the workout […]

  10. Hi Andrea,
    I’m also going through a very similar situation right now, but unfortunately the doctor and nutritionist I have spoken to have not been nearly as helpful or understanding as yours have been… I was wondering if there was anyway I could ask you privately some questions regarding advice your doctors gave you? I’ve just been feeling very conflicted, lost, confused, hopeless, and filled with anxiety over my situation for the past few weeks and then I found your blog and saw we are in very similar spots, so I was hoping you could give me some guidance on what to do :/

    1. ABSOLUTELY!!! Yes yes I would love to help in any way I can!! Email me!!

  11. […] mentioned in my previous posts (HERE) that body image is the hardest. Watching my stomach, thighs, hips, get bigger is just terrifying. […]

  12. […] DAY. ((per Dr. B’s instruction… it was hard to […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: