Weakness and For the first time, I QUIT.

***Let me start with a minor freak out and apologize that you are seeing such a WEAK side of me. But this morning is a bad morning in terms of food/eating wise***

I just had 4+ bowls of cereal, some apples… then found myself with a spoon uncontrollably digging into the jar of peanut butter. I just couldn’t stop. I hate when I feel so out of control like that. It is really messing with my head this morning and I don’t know how to handle it. I am so mad at myself. I feel full, overweight, and like this breakfast is just going to sit in my stomach and all turn to fat. (((I am so so sorry to vent like this and let you all see this side of me….I am embarrassed)))

Anyways… on to yesterday’s recap-

:::My Tuesday in a Nutshell:::

Breakfast and Therapy

I started my day super early due to a bad nights sleep (5am), ate a big breakfast of granola/cereal/banana/almond milk/apples… took a 20 min power nap, then headed to my 8am appointment with my Therapist.

We are still in the information gathering stage and she spent yesterday’s session asking follow up questions so she can get to know me and get down to the nitty-gritty details of why I think/act/eat/workout/behave/etc the way I do. I am game for whatever. I trust her and my nutritionist, Heather, completely.

I finished off my afternoon with spending mucho dollars at Earth Fare and using my discount/coupon! Yay! Any excuse to go there really…

My Workout

After multiple days in a row of physical activiy ranging from weight lifting, lunges/squats, stair master, running, spinning, and biking… my legs FELT it yesterday. They were heavy and slow moving.

But stubborn ol’ me just had to get some exercise… so I went to my noon spinning class. I knew I shouldn’t do it. I got on the bike, and 10 mins into the class, I stopped. Got off. And left. I QUIT. In the middle of the workout.

I have NEVER quit like that before… and you know what? I am so proud of myself. It took so much guts and courage to admit that I was worn down and that my body would be stronger from a day of rest (or light activity).

With that said… I did go ahead and stick to a previous obligation I had made earlier… a 27 mile bike ride with my summer biking group, followed by pizza at Pizza King. I hate Pizza King, but I was proud that I still got a little pizza (sans cheese) ate half (boxed the rest) and came home to have a thick slice of turkey, Yasso frozen yogurt bar, and 3 handful’s of Skinny Pop popcorn! THAT IS A LOT OF FOOD!!

I keep reminding myself that for the triathlon in a few weeks, the marathon in November, and my Half-Ironman that I am determined to schedule for next spring, I will need lots and lots of food and fuel on board……

STRONG AND POWERFUL, Andrea…. STRONG AND POWERFUL.

Have a great day everyone!

Have you ever quit a workout?

Do you guys eat at night? Every have a night snack? If so, What? How much?

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15 comments

  1. pickyrunner · · Reply

    Aw girl I’m sorry. I’ve had a few out of control nights since I got back here and it really is frustrating. I vow I’ll never do it again but then it happens. And it does get Better. I’m so proud of you for leaving that class. After that many days of physical activity I think I’d have to leave too! That would be hard for me so I know what you mean. I hope today gets better for you girlie!

    1. Thanks Sarah… yes it was hard but good that i left the class. And the peanut butter digested much faster than I thought it would. I was just frustrated that i lost control a bit… but that will happen and I gotta learn to keep my chin up! thanks for everything Sarah!!!! You are awesome and I love your help! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Some days I have out of control days too, and it’s tough on me! I have quit a workout before, but usually it’s during a run and not when I’m in a class. I don’t think I have the courage to quit a class. I have felt like I wanted to leave a class before though. It’s tough admitting when you need a break!

    I have dessert every night. Ice cream or dark chocolate pomegranates. Yum ๐Ÿ˜€ I also LOVE skinny pop popcorn. so good!

    1. yummy dessert choices!!!
      Yes leaving class was a first for me!! Stopping a run, yes… walking out of class with everyone looking (when you have already paid for it) is another!!
      thanks for sharing!!

  3. yogachic1212 · · Reply

    Aw hon, I’m so sorry to hear this. But know that it’s NOT the end of the world! If it makes you feel better, I’ve gone through the same episode when I was in the midst of the weight gain/learning to eat again phase. I’ll be the first to admit it’s second hardest thing I’ve ever done (the first being to finally commit to recovery!). But keep thinking: This too shall pass. Because it will! Remember, nothing is permanent, so once it’s over, tell yourself you’re starting fresh! Not restricting, but just starting like that never happened! The most important part is to acknowledge that it happened and then let go. Sort of like meditation (which is very helpful!). But I’m very proud to hear that you listened to your body during spin class! Props to you! That takes real courage to let your body win over your mind! Sometimes, our minds ignore what our bodies are telling us, so it’s good to practice letting your body have a voice ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you’re having a better Wednesday, love! Stay strong ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Hearing that you have had similar experiences with the food/fitness really does help me so much!!! Sometimes I feel so alone in it, but hearing from you and others helps so so much!

      I like that… This Too Shall Pass…. and move on. Each meal is a new chance to start anew.

      Thank you so much for your responses which have been KEY in my days…. I hope you have a blessed night and week!!

  4. I hate it when I get out of control like that, but you’ll be just fine! It’s important to listen to your body, and maybe it really needed all of that fuel after all of your big and intense workouts. Leaving spinning is something you should be proud of! Realizing you’re tired/overworked and resting is sometimes more important than adding more exercise to the regime! Have a wonderful Wednesday and keep your chin up! You are marvelous!

    1. I probably needed the fats, yes, but also the pb was just so so awesome that i couldn’t stop!!! and that is what scares me!
      I have got to be better with rest days… I know I need them but I just can’t seem to do them!!! grrr.
      Thanks so much for your responses to my posts and your input!!! You are a fantastic help and a huge part of my recovery process due to your similar experiences and help!! So thank you so much and have a great great rest of the week!

  5. I sometimes experience a crazy binge like that if I’ve been restricting myself too much, or not replenishing the calories I burn working out. I hope you’re feeling better.

    1. Thanks so much for the response and sharing. Yes… feeling a bit better… just tired and frustrated with myself and fitness in general…
      Hope you are having a great week so far!

  6. Try not to stress over it and I think it’s good that you feel comfortable venting on here – it is theraputic and I think you will be able to get the support you need! I think we all have out of control times like that…just try to brush it off and make the rest of the day better ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Yes venting on here (seeing it written for others to see) makes it real and helps release some of my anxiety. Like it is true and tangilble, and now it is time to move on from it. You are right… I just need to move on and keep my chin up!! Still hard and mentally I am struggling a bit, but thanks for your CONSTANT support. Seriously means the world to me and HELPS me so much. Have a wonderful week!!

  7. […] you SO MUCH for everyone’s help in calming me down and supporting me yesterday as I had some tough mental battles… I appreciate it and you guys more than I can […]

  8. […] last few day of super down-in-the-dumps posts (Here and Here) are just not the usual me!! I am a happy, silly, kind, ambitious, strong-headed, adventurous women […]

  9. […] have never wanted to quit a spinning class so badly– and that includes THIS time when I walked out after 30 […]

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