I HAVE MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!! 🙂
Well, I am home. It is 100% bittersweet. Great to be back in my bed. Awesome to be around NEW meals (we ate the same meals in the same order in a 6 day rotation that coincided with new groups of campers). Love the big shower with room to shave my legs. Happy to be with my family again.
That’s about it to be honest. My 1 month of serving on Summer Staff at Timber Wolf Lake in Michigan was the greatest experience of my life…. My heart was changed.
Growing up Christian, I had always know about God and Jesus. I was raised to be a good kid. Very polite, respectful. I never got in trouble. Never was sucked into drugs or alcohol. Never snuck-out at night. I got good grades. Was involved in school. Never had a “boy-crazy” stage in life. Had (and still have) solid, trustworthy friends. But it wasn’t until the past couple years that I learned what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus.
I was a “poster” child. And I was happy. I can honestly say the hardest most “tragic” thing to have happened to me is this 2 year struggle with my disordered eating. And even now I am seeking help and working on no longer letting it control me.
I have been absolutely blessed in my life thus far. But this month I was reminded that no matter how happy/easy/sad/hard your life is… it is nothing if you are not living for Jesus. Christ is my All. He is my Center. He is my Rock and Solid Ground.
My life has changed this month. I put myself in a situation that only a few months ago would have me screaming with stress and anxiety and most likely would have headed home within the first few days. But the Lord placed me at Timber Wolf for a month for a reason. I have conquered my fears of sleep, food, fitness, late nights, social gatherings…. due to the strength of Jesus and TRUSTING HIS WORD AND LOVE FOR ME.
While I am most definitely not healed from my eating and living habits developed over the past two years, I can tell you that I am more sure than ever that I can beat this. I have made such HUGE strides this past month. I have not been able to run or workout for 3 weeks straight, and yet I have eaten every single heavy camp meal. This would not have been possible a few months ago.
I am so excited to take home with me all that I gained from camp. God’s love for me runs deep, and I have to remember that all my worries and prayers that revolves around food and working-out is the work of Satan knowing how best to manipulate me and cause me pain. But not any more! 🙂
Thank you guys so so much for your continued support! On the drive home I finally came clean to my sister (bff) all that I have been writing on here and just how deep my struggle with food has been. I also saw my Therapist Laura for the first time yesterday morning! I then went on the see my Sports Doctor for my shin splints (which will still take some time to heal, but thankfully is not a stress fracture)
I will keep you all updated when I can officially run again! Doc say’s I should be good to go by my July 27th 10k in Chicago! (It will not be fast, but I am just happy I can run it!)
So many things to be thankful for!
I know it will not all be down hill and cheery-blossoms from here, but I know that my HEART is changed and my HEAD is finally getting on track!
Have a GREAT DAY everyone and PTL everyone!! (Praise The Lord!)