GREAT news & Random News

I wanted to tell you guys as soon as possible!

The Great News:

Heather, my nutritionist, called me back and we spoke for thirty minutes! She was thrilled to hear from me.  I told her that when I saw her two years ago it was at the force of my parents. This time, I said, it was my choice and my desire. I want her help. She let me talk and I very clumsily recapped my last year to her. I wish I was more articulate. I was getting all tongue tied and doing an awful just of explaining how I was feeling/thinking but I think I got the main idea across. And she said what I have discovered from reading all your wonderful thoughts and from the kind comments left on Morning Runner Girl– that I am not alone and this is an all too common problem among female athletes. I told her I want to be normal in my eating and eat balanced meals.

I told her I still struggle mentally with the idea of gaining weight, but I know deep down that it is what I want and need. I loved what she said when I admitted this. She said instead of the focus being on the # on the scale and the anxiety from seeing it rise (or not rise) we are only focusing on me eating well-balanced, nutrient filled meals. She said my body will adjust accordingly in terms of its weight. As long as I am feeding my body what it needs to be function healthy and happy, my performance in running and other activities will follow suite.  So my “goal” right now is not to gain weight, but to gain healthy eating habits. She also wants to give me names of therapists to help change my mental views of food and my relationship with food. This makes me a little more “iffy”. Not sure why… I think the word “therapist” scares me.

I am meeting with Heather this coming Monday, June 3, at 6:15 pm! You better believe I will give you guys a full update because I will be so flippin’ excited! Also, like I have said many times, you guys are my support system and help hold me accountable 🙂 I thank each and every one of your for that!!

The Random News: My workout/dinner today:

I did a 1 hr spin class at 8:30am then ran 6.4 miles this evening. The run felt like I was working super-duper hard… and of course my pace was just “OK”. I hate it when runs are like that!!

Back to the spin class really fast– we used weights while one the bike. I had never done that before!! So during the “rest minutes” for our legs after a killer hill/sprint set, we would grab our weights, still peddling, and bust out triceps/bicep/shoulder lifting!! It was great! It definitely took my mind off of my aching legs… only to want to hurry back to a riding set due to my aching arms!! These spinning instructors are brilliant I tell ya!!

For dinner, it was just Dad and I and he insisted on going out to eat, so we hit up one of my favorites, Mackenzie River Pizza Co.  For some reason I was not feeling comfortable with this, especially since we didn’t sit down to eat until 9pm, but I sucked it up and went anyways. ((9pm is my bed time guys… )) Anyways Dad was watching me like a hawk. I got a BIG bowl of white chicken chili, and Dad got a large Pizza with like 3 different kinds of meat. I ate every bit of my chile, then practically licked my bowl. It was hands down the greatest chili I have ever had. I had a big piece of his pizza too. It was a lot of food, and I did not want that slice of pizza, but I did it to keep my dad happy. And he was. He kept saying how happy he was that I agreed to go to dinner. That made me sad to hear actually, because that means that he has become used to me saying ‘no’. I have got to learn to be more comfortable with eating out…

Have you ever seen a nutritionist?

Ever seen a therapist?

How was your workout today?

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12 comments

  1. Good for you!! I can’t wait to hear how things go with heather. Please share what you learn! Even the simple idea of gaining healthy habits instead of pounds really is helpful.
    I saw a therapist earlier this year for similar reasons and it was pretty hard/frustrating at first but after about 3 sessions it started to feel like I was actually making progress. After 7 sessions I moved away so now I’m kind of in limbo, but still trying to keep in mind the thought patterns and ideas I practiced there. I thought of him as a counselor though, not a therapist- I don’t like that word either!

    1. Thank you so much for the input! That is a great idea to “change the title” to counselor or something… Ya I think society has just put a negative conotationon “therapists” which is unfortunate because of how important they are for so many people.
      Thank you for sharing how it is has helped you. I think i am going to give it a shot and see how it goes. I really have no idea what to expect!!
      I will DEFNITELY keep you (all) updated as I move through this process! I am nervous-excited!!

      Have a great day!!

  2. pickyrunner · · Reply

    I’m so proud of you for biting the bullet and calling the nutritionist!!! She sounds EXACTLY like mine. We never used numbers. No weights, no calories, nothing. I just had to make sure I was eating real foods (and a lot of it) and I was on the right track. Like you, the first time I went I was mandated by my parents. The second time was my doing. I asked if I could go. And I’m going to ask again this summer when I move back to RI full time. My nutritionist required that I see a therapist at the same time second time around. When she said this, I nodded my head knowing I wouldn’t go to one. Well, I did. And that’s when I got control over myself and the bingeing. So the short version of this is… I’m so happy for you and I KNOW you’re going to feel so much better about yourself.
    As for that workout. Damnnnnn girl. Running 6 miles after a spin class?! I’d be dead! I hope that bowl of chili was huge!!

    1. Thats awesome you guys didn’t use numbers. I told her that I didn’t think I wanted to weigh myself anymore because I just based WAY too much on the #, and I also don’t think I could handle seeing the # rise at this time.
      Wow and so interesting that you also didn’t want to see a therapist.. and so great that she is really a huge part of your mental healing. it sounds like even though I may not be thrilled over the idea… I should check it out and give it a go. Because what I want more than ANYTHING is mental health.

      And you know what?? Funny you said that, bc even though I was super full, I think the bowl could have been bigger. I should have eaten more maybe…hmmm… next time!!!

  3. baby steps!! Good for you, though, for stepping out of your comfort zone!! Can’t wait to hear how your appointment goes!! Maybe you and your therapist can agree on a term OTHER than therapist that sounds more friendly. Maybe they can be your food friend or something 😉 Just a title that makes you feel less uncomfortable and more willing to push through. I don’t know if that’s a lame idea, but that’s what I would do!

    1. No no not lame at all… that is a great idea! Just like running, I think this will be a mental struggle where being mentally strong is key. So if that means changing the name from My Therapist, to My Personal Life Advice Giver haha… then that is just what we will call it!

      Thanks for the support and advice 🙂

  4. That’s so incredibly amazing of you to call your nutritionist and to realize that you may be ready to make the changes your body needs. It is incredibly hard and scary. i spent most of my 20’s in and out of treatment (both inpatient and out) for eating disorders, so I know what you are going through.
    Take it one day at a time and keep that healthy mind-set that you are nourishing your body, not gaining weight.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing… I am sorry you were dealing with this for so many years. It has only been 2ish for me and I am just so exhausted over it. I am so tired of being controlled by food…

      Thank you so much. That is a great way to continue to think about it– I am nurishing my body, not gaining weight. I like that a LOT…. 🙂

      1. I think having this blog will be really helpful for you too….I kinda wish I had one then! No matter the amount of years you deal with it, it’s the same and you said it exactly right…exhausting!! I use to always joke about the amount of time my mind was consumed with calories, calculations and insanity could have been applied to a PHD or something!! ha!
        It’s easier to make light of things sometimes, but I know it’s hard…if you ever want to chat- my email is on my blog 🙂

  5. Gaining healthy eating habits is exactly what it is. You can be fat and unhealthy and you can be skinny and unhealthy. Healthy=good and your body will look good if you are healthy. I’m so glad that things look optimistic for you and I can’t wait to hear how the appointment goes.

    1. Oh my gosh I have never really thought of it like that before. That makes total sense. Skinny doesn’t mean healthy. “healthy” by definition is being good to your body and giving it what it needs to operate at its optimal level. And right now, I am depriving it of the CORRECT fuel it needs to do what I want it to do.
      Funny how little things like that comparison can alter my mindset. Wow thank you so much!!

  6. […] my counselor last week, and continued into my appointment with my doctor on Friday. After reading this post by Andrea at Morning Runner Girl, I really started to think more deeply about this […]

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